problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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