His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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