Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
