I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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