She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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