I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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