I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
