We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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