How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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