1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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