She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
