my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
