I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I want a musical about memes.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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