We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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