Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
