He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
