mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I party with great urgency now.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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