FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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