alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
