Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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