So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
