u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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