This is not my ceiling
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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