I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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