Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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