like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
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