Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
