Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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