About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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