It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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