Soap is not a condiment
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
