Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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