what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
