she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
