i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i think i have herpe
just one?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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