She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
