I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
