U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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