I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
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