Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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