i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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