I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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