now i know why i became what i already was.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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