I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
