He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
