8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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