Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
