the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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