sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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