Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
