I CAN MOONWALK!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
