i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
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