I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
