last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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