Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
