Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
