We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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