she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
