You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
