I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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