I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You are a genius and a whore.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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