Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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