We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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