I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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