yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
